and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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