It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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