spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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