Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
