i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
