He asked to "fluff my boner.."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
