I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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