She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
