i was born a porn star she said
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
