he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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