Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
