i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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