I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
