sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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