I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize