Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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