Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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