mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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