he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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