He disabled his match.com account in front of me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
