is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
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margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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