Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize