just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
