he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize