he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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