Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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