do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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