Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
