it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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