I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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