Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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