plz talk dirty to me
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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