There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
