Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
