she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
