I'm jealous of your bromance
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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