somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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