Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
barbara walters just said penis...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
