wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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