if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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