On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
