oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
