walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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