All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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