New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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