i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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