I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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