if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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