Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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