Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
