found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
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bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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