hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
