THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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