And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
