I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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