i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
