There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
