Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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