I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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