He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
