It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
