Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
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I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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