i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
