You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
